Friday, December 4, 2009

No wait, I've got the fear. Somebody? Anybody?

Somebody tell me that I'm not going to wake up in the morning with a huge stomach, and a couple of extra pounds.
I've done a 180 in the space of an hour, I'm now a needy pitiful mess.
I don't feel ok about this anymore. I can feel it all inside me. Swollen and heavy, and vile.
Can't do anything about it until the morning. Shit.
Can I feel better by this time tomorrow?
I walked eleven kilometres today. But I consumed, and please, I know it's disgusting, I consumed about 1400 calories. Fuck. That's so so over the top.
I'm scared. So much for being so naive as to think that that amount of food, especially junk food wouldn't fuck me up. How fucking smug was I with being a filthy creature, thinking I could just wipe it from my memory.
I know after this I'll be back to my normal habits for a while but how long will it take to get over this. I want to be 89.
What's the worst case scenario?


  1. It will take awhile to put that weight on you. When you start eating 1400 calorie meals again, you start losing weight more because your metabolism speeds up. That food and fat will probably go to your organs or something else that has been undernourished.
    (sorry I sound like a doctor right now, just trying to help you out! I usually don't think these thoughts.)

  2. don't even worry about it, it sounds like your doing really well, everyone slips up now and again, it happens.
    just pick yourself back up again and the added weight will drop off you, I know it!
    don't worry :) x

  3. Loola's right, they've been feeding me up for over 4 months now, over 2000cals a day, and I've gained about a quarter of the weight I need to. Sounds absurd, but it's actually difficult to put on the weight when you need to o.O Mind you, that's 'cause I know they give me more when I don't T.T;