Saturday, November 14, 2009

Really? Me?

I am so completely surprised that after only a few days I have followers and comments.

I started this out of a need to get everything out there without having to address someone close to me. That I could get it out of my head and not feel burdened by it, and not burden anyone else with it.

But now to see that someone has actually taken the time out to read helps so so much. So thank you! There are so many blogs out there that it's so easy to dismiss another one, so thanks for noticing.

I'm having conscience attacks every now and then, albeit mild ones. But they ask me what the hell am I doing to my body. What exactly am I sacrificing??

But then I finally weighed myself post last week's binge. Ninety fucking seven pounds. That's a whole five pounds more than this day last week. I'm determined to get it back. Now. I'm getting there, I'm sure it was probably more a couple of days ago. So I'm getting there. I feel victorious. Like I conquered those stupid little temptations that holed themselves up inside me for a few long days.

Tuesday. Tuesday I will be noticeably back. Unfortunately Tuesday I also have to go home to visit my family.

I'm not going to let that shake me. Staying strong.

So yeah, conscience clearly doesn't have a loud enough voice.


  1. ugh, don't you hate that?!

    especially when you've been as good as you can be.. when you expect it to be 5 pounds LOWER.

    such a blow to one's self-esteem.

    i'm sure you'll get rid of it quick, though. maybe your body is just having a bad week?